My Shirt is Yellow, His Shirt is Blue
by samjen-trek
Summary: It has been one year, two months, three weeks and five days. Jim Kirk is getting cranky and there is nothing to sate his...manly 'needs' on his ship. Desperate, Jim turns to weird and wonderful hobbies in order to distract himself and discovers some interesting feelings for his First Officer when he attempts poetry...Rated M for smut, now complete.
1. Chapter 1: Balls of Pink and Green

**Chapter One: Balls of a Pink and Green Nature**

* * *

It has been one year, two months, three weeks, five days, eight hours and approximately forty-eight minutes since James Tiberius Kirk last got laid. To say that this was making him a tad tetchy was an understatement. They were one year, two months, three weeks, five days, eight hours and approximately forty-eight minutes into the five year mission of the USS Enterprise and so far everything was going according to plan; they had visited several planets and even discovered a knew one. However none of them had been suitable for seeing to Jim's needs, and yes he knew that wasn't very captainlike and his thoughts should be on the mission, but a man has needs.

He was sitting in his Captain's chair tapping his fingers insistently against the arms when a shadow loomed over him.

"Captain."

"Yes, Spock?" Jim began twitching his legs in rhythm with his fingers.

The Vulcan was staring down at him unblinking. "Is there something on your mind Captain? I only ask because you seem to have developed what Doctor McCoy would refer to as a 'nervous tick' over the past few weeks. And if I may speak freely, your constant tapping is becoming detrimental to my concentration. I believe I am not alone in this conclusion."

Jim looked about the bridge. Sulu and Chekov both turned away quickly and started deliberately tapping away at buttons and dials. Uhura, though she wasn't looking at him Jim could see this clearly, pursed her lips tightly as though trying hard not to laugh.

"Perhaps you should retire to your quarters Captain, and I shall resume command for the remainder of your shift?" Spock quirked an eyebrow.

Jim's jiggling increased in frequency. A previously unseen muscle twitched in Spock's cheek.

"No, no I'm fine."

Spock estimated that it was one hour and four minutes before the Captain's shift ended. He did not think that he could withstand Jim's constant fidgeting for anywhere near that length of time.

"Perhaps you are in need of more exercise."

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

Spock raised one eyebrow.

"No, Captain. You appear to be in extremely good physical shape."

Jim stood up quickly. "You have the conn."

He stepped into the turbolift, ignoring the confused and vaguely amused looks the bridge crew were shooting his direction.

X

By gamma shift, Jim Kirk had acquired a stress ball that was a particularly disturbing shade of green. He was pacing up and down the bridge in front of the window, flexing his arm and crushing the stress ball so violently that after only an hour it tore and came apart in his hand. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him. A vein appeared at his temple and with a groan he threw the remains of the stress ball on the floor and proceeded to stamp on them.

"Captain."

Jim spun about. "What?!"

He froze when he saw Spock standing upright behind him, one arm folded behind his back and the other extended before him, a brand new and vibrantly pink stress ball. Without a word Jim took it from him, nodded once, and returned to his pacing.

Spock returned to his station with only barest hint of a smile.

X

Three days later Jim had come into possession of a red painted spinning top which he spun intermittently on one of the arms of his chair. Whenever his concentration on the archaic toy lapsed it scattered away, clattering onto the floor under Sulu's chair. Without looking the pilot would pick it up and toss it back to Jim, who would promptly begin spinning it again.

Spock wondered if the Captain had ever attempted mediation. But then Jim Kirk and 'sitting still for extended periods of time' were words seldom heard in the same sentence.

Spock pinched the bridge of his nose as the spinning top dropped to the floor again, making a haphazard path that finished under Spock's chair. The Vulcan picked it up silently and crushed it in his hand. The pieces of the top fell through his fingers.

Jim huffed loudly.

"Perhaps you should go and see Doctor McCoy."

"No I don't need to..." Jim trailed off. "Commander Spock." He then said, in his captain's voice. "Do we have any eggs aboard the ship?"

Spock blinked at him, his brow creasing slightly. "Eggs sir? I do believe we have eggs aboard the ship."

Jim nodded. "Take command. There is something I need to do."


	2. Chapter 2: Jim's Frilly Apron

**Chapter Two - Jim's Frilly Apron**

* * *

It was a full three hours before the captain returned to the bridge, which Spock came to the conclusion was incredibly irresponsible. He decided however not to file a report since they were only traveling in warp and there was not a planet or ship in sight for days. He was sitting in the captain's chair when the turbo lift whooshed open to reveal Jim carrying a huge tray piled high with what appeared to be different kinds of biscuits and cakes. He looked incredibly pleased with himself. He was now wearing a black t-shirt, and Spock could only guess that Jim had been baking and had gotten batter all over his captain's shirt.

"Captain." Spock rose to his feet, considering the way Jim was tapping his foot and biting his lower lip before speaking again. "I do not understand what was so important that you had to leave the bridge during a shift."

Jim hobbled over to him with the tray. "I baked!" He grinned, before going over to Uhura. "Victoria sponge cake for the lady." He gave her a cheeky grin. "Sulu! I made shortbread for you."

Uhura took the plate he offered with both her eyebrows raised, but she was too shocked to say anything and instead fixed Spock with a look that clearly told him she was worried.

Jim wasn't looking at them, instead shoving a plate of chocolate brownies into Chekov's lap.

"They have vodka in them." he told the Ensign with a wink.

Jim only had two plates remaining. One he offered to Spock, piled high with star shaped chocolate chip cookies. Spock looked rather taken aback.

"I cannot eat chocolate, Jim. It has an..._interesting _affect on the vulcan physiology. I must decline."

Jim's face fell slightly and he placed the cookies in his chair.

"I'd better get these ginger snaps to Scotty. Spock, you have the conn, but don't sit on my cookies."

X

Spock was in his quarters the next time round, and when Jim came strolling inside the Vulcan was actually momentarily speechless because Jim was covered from head to foot in batter and he was wearing an apron that was yellow and frilly. He had tied it about his middle and there was a dirty wooded spoon in one of the pocket. In his hand there was a plate, loaded with cookies that were heart shaped and slightly bumpy.

Jim sidled up to him and slid the plate onto the deck. "They're honey and oats." He whispered, sounding in credibly bashful.

The Vulcan stared down at the plate.

"Um the star cookie cutter was dirty so..." Jim sniffed, wiping a hand over his cheek and smudging batter there.

"Captain. Forgive my forwardness, but I believe I have reason for concern." Spock rose to his feet and folded his hands behind his back.

Jim rolled his eyes.

"Try a cookie, Spock. That's an order."

Spock took a cookie and bit into it, munching it thoughtfully for a moment. Jim waited with an expectant smile on his face and tapped one finger on the side of the plate. It grew louder and more erratic until the sound was pounding in Spock's ears, but luckily Jim ceased as soon as he opened his mouth.

"Though I rarely indulge on sweet foods, I much admit these biscuits are not unsatisfactory." He put the rest of the cookie back down onto the plate, before taking it from Jim and putting it down on the desk. "I shall keep them in my quarters."

Jim gave him a double thumbs up and turned to leave the room.

"Captain." Spock called after him.

When he turned around the Vulcan was standing directly behind him, and before Jim could even speak, Spock had raised a hand and brushed a finger across his cheek. Jim's breath caught in his throat at the contact, wondering what on earth he was doing, when he saw a lump of batter on Spock's finger.

"Perhaps you should undertake the necessary routine to clean yourself Captain." Spock walked over to the door that led into their adjoining bathroom and opened it.

Jim watched him go, wiping a piece of batter from his nose and licking his finger clean.


	3. Chapter 3: Got Wood

**Chapter Three: Got Wood**

* * *

Jim wasn't sure at which point things started to get out of hand. One minute everything was fine and the next minute his mind was on one thing and one thing only, and he was having to have cold showers four or five times a day, and the baking really had weirded his crew out. Despite this everyone had eaten and commented on how nice the cakes and biscuits were. He even noticed Spock's plate slowly diminishing every time he went into the Vulcan's quarters.

Tiny little things had started getting to him now as well, such as how damn tight the crew's uniforms were. Especially the men's. It was astonishing how he had never noticed this fact before, and he was sat in his captain's chair on the bridge when he first realised how uncomfortable he was. He had been staring ahead through the window into the black nothingness as it whizzed by, trying to think about anything but the shower he had taken not half an hour ago. That was when his trousers suddenly felt incredibly tight and he had to sit up, and tilt his hips, and widen his legs, and slouch down, but nothing felt right.

He looked up as Spock suddenly passed him, going over to Sulu and leaning over the control desk to show him something on a PADD, and Jim realised it wasn't just his trousers that were tight. The Vulcan had an extremely firm round perky behind that was being hugged by his black trousers perfectly. Suddenly the bridge was very hot. Jim got to his feet and cleared his throat, going over to Spock's science station and staring at one of the screens purposely.

"Commander." He called, after he felt he was able to speak coherently. "I've still got an hour until my shift ends, but is there anything I can do to help? Rather than just sitting in my chair."

Spock was by his side in minutes. "A remarkable request Captain." He seemed surprised. "But a request I would gladly take you up on. I was in fact just about to make my way to the science lab."

Jim pulled a face, but then glanced down at the Vulcan's tight-

"Sounds good." He turned. "Sulu, call me immediately if you need anything."

Jim followed Spock to the science labs, trying _very _hard to look directly at Spock's back and not his back...side. The science labs were clean and orderly, and Jim had rarely set foot in them in his time as Captain. Usually Spock took command over those matters - Jim wasn't sure if it was because Spock liked doing it or just didn't trust Jim with his science officers. Probably a bit of both.

Spock began examining an experiment and it took about ten seconds before Jim started fidgeting. He started to patrol the room, greeting the science officers and taking note of the work they were doing, asking questions about the plant samples or the dishing containing brightly coloured goo in them, and this all seemed to be working until Jim happened upon a plant that was, well... phallic. The stems and leaves were normal enough, a deep shade of green, but it was the flowers that caught Jim's attention. They were peach coloured, large and long with what appeared to be bulges at the bases, and there was no denying what they looked exactly like.

Jim swallowed and folded his arms. He was so glad he already had his sexuality figured out, but at the same time he wished he hadn't, because - and he was ashamed to say this - the plant was turning him on. And the poor thing didn't even know it was doing it.

"Is there something about this specimen that particularly interests you Captain?" Spock suddenly appeared by his side, and Jim actually jumped in surprise.

"N-no!" He said quickly. "It just... I was just... it looks a lot like err..."

Spock frowned at him. "I believe I have come up with a solution to your recent 'nervous ticks' Captain; something which may aid you in reaching a desired state of tranquility."

He led Jim to the far end of the lab, where in the centre of a table was a Bonsai tree. It was in a small blue china pot and was no bigger than a few inches, it's branches abundant with tiny green leaves. Jim took it gently.

"This is for me?" he asked, face lit up with a smile. If he had not been looking at the plant, he would have seen Spock's lips twitch in what may have been a smile.

"Yes, Captain. It requires your attention and care to keep it alive, which may be a more conducive way to expend your energy instead of..._twitching_ incessantly."

"Thanks, Spock." Jim rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed.

"The practice of bonsai development incorporates a number of techniques either unique to bonsai or applied in unusual ways that are particularly suitable to the bonsai domain." Spock continued, matter-of-factly. "I would suggests perhaps some background reading. Another task I highly recommend for using up all of this energy you have suddenly acquired."

A light blush decorated Jim's cheeks. "Err yeah, thanks."

"May I inquire as to what is troubling you Captain?" Spock raised his eyebrows. "Though I your First Officer, I would like to think that we are - by now - friends."

Jim's smile became slightly panicked.

"I...uh. It's nothing Spock. Honestly, I'm fine."

Spock raised an eyebrow and stared pointedly at Jim's foot which was tapping on the floor.

"Spock, it's nothing I can't handle." Jim said, forcing himself to be still and slapping a big grin on his face. Spock looked at him intently for a moment before clasping his hands together.

"Very well. If this issue does not resolve itself soon though, I shall insist that you inform me what exactly it is, I may be able to help."

Jim made a sort of choked noise and left the science labs as fast as his legs would carry him. That would be one hell of an _interesting _conversation...


	4. Chapter 4: Cabbages

**Chapter Four: Cabbages**

* * *

Spock, however, only grew more and more concerned. Three days later Jim completed a triple shift, but despite this, the Vulcan was rudely disturbed from his state of medication by shuffling sounds coming from Jim's room next door. He looked to his clock and saw that it was 2.34am. What he saw when he opened the adjoining door and stepped into the Captain's quarters made him come to an abrupt halt.

"You stood on my dominos!" Jim wailed. Spock lifted up his foot to see several scattered dominos crushed under his boot.

"...my apologies, Captain."

Spock surveyed the room with what could very well have been an expression of complete dismay. Jim's _entire_ floor was covered in a careful and complex arrangement of dominos. Jim sat cross legged in the middle of them, his hair sticking out in odd directions and wearing only his yellow shirt and a pair of black underwear. Spock refrained from commenting on Jim's appearance.

"You do not require sleep Captain?" Spock asked.

Jim waved a hand at him, leaning over his dominos so that he could re-stand the ones Spock had knocked over. "I tried. I tried three times. I had a shower too. Nothing works. I can't sleep."

Spock suddenly crouched down and made a move as though to touch Jim's hand, but despite his obviously exhausted and sleep-deprived state, Jim was quick enough to pull his hand back, worried about what Spock might see if he touched him.

"Perhaps it is about time I suggested meditation." Spock straightened up, watching his half-clothed Captain stretched out beneath him.

Jim looked up at him, his expression suggesting something akin to the phrase "Mneh?"

"If you would follow me into my quarters Captain; I was attempting to reach the desired state of meditation myself." Spock stepped carefully over the dominos and went back to his quarters.

The Captain didn't need telling twice, not because of the meditation, but because he liked being in Spock's room. It was clean and everything had a place - no matter how much time Jim dedicated to sorting his own room it was never good enough - and Spock's always smelt nice. As soon as he stepped through the adjoining room Jim was hit by a wave of incense and candle light. Almost instantly he felt soothed.

"Wow, that smells _amazing_. What is it?"

Spock's lips twitched in amusement.

"It is an incense made from several plants from my home."

"From vulcan?"

Spock's voice softened. "Yes."

Jim faced Spock in the middle of the room, folding his arms tightly against his chest.

"Okay, so what now?"

"You will sit, with your legs crossed and your arms relaxed beside you." Spock said, doing the same.

To Jim's surprise, the Vulcan sat quite close to him, so that there was only an inch between their knees.

"Close your eyes." He whispered, his voice slightly deeper than normal. "Imagine yourself somewhere where you feel most comfortable. Your quarters, perhaps, your home in Iowa, upon the bridge... wherever you are imagine yourself to be completely alone."

Jim closed his eyes, and at first he could not concentrate. Iowa...he had been alone yes, but bone achingly alone that made pain well in his chest. He thought of the bridge, surrounded by family. A family that he had made, that trusted him. He didn't want to imagine the bridge without them.

He didn't like feeling alone.

"Jim?"

Jim cleared his throat. "Give me a minute, Spock."

Jim envisioned himself in his chair. Perhaps the crew had gone to bed, perhaps they were docked at a space station. It didn't matter. Jim sat on his chair and he was not alone, not really, because he could see the stars.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Spock's voice seemed even closer, deeper, quieter. "Concentrate on your breathing. You are safe, protected; nothing is going to harm you because this is your haven. You must let your body relax. Breathe in slowly, and out again."

Jim did as he asked, and to begin with it started to work. He didn't have the Vulcan's mental shields, but the breathing and the incense were helping him to relax. However, no sooner had this thought crossed his mind, Jim became very aware of just how close Spock was to him. He could feel heat emanating from the knee that was almost touching his, he could hear the slow and gentle breaths Spock took.

Jim opened his eyes.

Spock was the picture of calm - not the expressionless mask that he usually wore, but one of serene calm. His eyelashes were dark against his pale skin, the edges of his lips curving in what was almost a smile. Jim had the absurd urge to kiss him, run his fingers through Spock's dark hair, feel the warmth of his skin against...

Jim was suddenly very aware that he was still only wearing underwear on his bottom half. He scrambled to his feet, turning away from Spock as his dark brown eyes opened.

"I...shit. Um, this isn't going to work. But thank you, thank you Spock. I am grateful I swear."

Jim almost tripped over in his haste to leave the room and headed straight for a very, _very _cold shower. He shrieked several pitches higher than a man should be able to, but stood resolutely under the shower until the images of kissing Spock all over vanished.

Three hours later, Jim stepped onto the bridge with damp hair and chattering teeth. Spock looked at him with concern.

"Captain. Would you care to explain to me what on earth happened last night." He went to him, and lowered his voice. "I am very concerned for your wellbeing."

Jim forced the best smile he could. "I'm fine Spock."

"Captain, I-"

"There's nothing you can do to help Commander." Jim said sternly, even though his voice wavered because all of a suddenly, all he could imagine was what Spock could do to help him.

"Spock, seriously. _Please_ just drop it."

Spock dropped it.

Jim fell into his chair and thought very intently about cabbages.


	5. Chapter 5: Mind Sex

**Chapter Five: Spock Lends a Hand**

I'm glad so many of you are enjoying this!

* * *

The very next day Jim was sat in the mess hall the second he was off shift, tucking into a huge bowl of cabbage soup. It was watery and tasted strongly of pepper, and he hated every bit, but it was the only way to stop himself from jumping his First Officer, who by now was the very object of Jim's wants and needs. He wanted to do so many bad things to him in the dark, in the captain's chair, up against the-

Jim pulled a face, his mouthful of soup dripping down his chin, just as Bones and Spock appeared over him.

"Jim." Bones sounded like he was trying not to laugh. "Mr Spock's worried about you, he wants me to check you over."

Jim looked up at the two of them and wiped his mouth.

"Since when did I stop being the Captain of this ship?"

"Since you gave me adequate reason to question your health." Spock replied expressionlessly. "I filed a report for the good doctor's eyes only."

Bones glanced at him. "You're still the Captain, Jim. Just let me give you a once over to get Spock off your back."

"An unusual phrasing doctor, since I am obviously not on the-"

"Alright!" Jim jumped to his feet, waving his hands as though trying to bat something away. "Do your check up, just... stop talking!" And he marched from the mess hall.

Spock waited until he and McCoy had gotten a head-start and began to walk silently to catch up with them. He was sure that Jim would never admit if there was something wrong, so the only way to ensure JIm's wellbeing was to...listen in. It wasn't_ eavesdropping_ if it was for the good of the Captain.

Jim flopped onto the biobed and rolled his eyes as Bones started up the tricorder. "It's nothing that that thing is going to pick up." He said snidely, folding his arms.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Elevated heart-rate, perspiration... it's picking something up Jim. So are you going to tell me what?"

Jim licked his lips and shifted awkwardly. "You know how long we've been on this mission?"

"Just over a year? Dammit, Jim, just get to the point."

Jim stared at his feet. "I'm horny, alright? I haven't gone without getting laid for this long in...well, I can't even remember, okay? Now will you leave me alone?"

Bones almost fell over he was laughing so hard. "All of this 'strange behavior' is because... because you... oh Jim!" He had to lean on the bed to support himself.

A dark blush covered Jim's cheeks."Alright, shut up, you." He kicked him playfully. "It's really bad so stop laughing! I can't sleep, nothing I do is distracting me!"

"Jim!" Bones clasped his shoulder, a grin still on his face. "And Spock made out you were having some sort of mental breakdown!"

Jim pursed his lips in annoyance. "You're not helping, Doctor." He hissed.

"Well what do you want me to do dammit?" Bones started to laugh again. "I can give you something to help you sleep, but whether they'd work or not is another matter."

Jim swore under his breath.

Outside the room, Spock was blinking in a mixture of confusion and vague horror, a green blush decorating his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

X

Jim threw a knitting needle at the wall.

"Fucking shit damn piece of _crap_!"

In his lap was a tangled mess of blue and yellow wool. It was meant to be a _sock_ or even a hat but it was taking more patience than Jim had to actually knit something resembling an item of clothing. Jim threw the pile of knitting on the floor, catching the needle in his shirt and ripping it.

"Are you fucking _serious_?"

Jim tore off his shirt and threw that as well, moving his legs over the side of the bed to stamp on it a few times for good measure.

"_Commander Spock requesting entry._"

Jim grunted and the door slid open.

"Captain, I..." Spock trailed off as he took in the sight of muddled pile of wool and the discarded shirt. "I have come to see how you are faring."

Jim released a second grunt and threw himself down onto his bed.

"I'm fed up!" He hissed. "I can't do anything right! I give up! Knitting is hard! Who the fuck decided knitting is relaxing?"

Spock was suddenly by his side and Jim became very aware that he was how only wearing his bottom half. He tensed his stomach muscles involuntarily, but his First Officer's attention was on the wool, bending down to pick it up and run it in-between his fingers.

"An interesting hobby Captain. However, now that I am fully aware of your situation, I believe I may be able to offer a more effective solution."

Jim was on his feet in seconds, his whole face red with embarrassment. "Did Bones tell you? I'm going to murder that little-"

He started towards the door, but Spock stepped sideways and blocked him. "Doctor McCoy has not informed me of anything. I, if you remember, have exceptional hearing."

If it were even possible, Jim had blushed deeper. He hunched his shoulders and balled his fists, his eyes concentrating on a tiny piece of blue wool that was on the floor.

"Would you care to listen to my alternative?" Spock sounded almost smug.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but go on then."

Spock nodded and placed down the wool. "You are aware of my Vulcan abilities Captain. Of mind melding."

Jim pursed his lips. "Yeah..."

"If you would lie down on the bed, I would like to offer these abilities, in order to relieve you of your current situation."

This seemed to take forever to register in Jim's mind. "You want to... wait, what? What is going on here?"

"If you would lie down Captain." Spock simply said again, indicating the bed.

Jim trusted Spock with his life, so he didn't ask any more questions and got onto the bed, lying on his back with his hands flat on his stomach. He looked up at Spock, watching as the Vulcan moved to stand over the bed by his head. Spock held out one hand.

"If you would close your eyes Captain." He said softly, and then he placed his fingers to Jim's face.

Jim closed his eyes.

A wave of the most obscene, _amazing_ pleasure jerked through him, sending his heart racing. He attempted to pull away but Spock's other hand was holding the back of Jim's neck like a vice so he could not move. Seeing that there was no escape, Jim clenched his jaw shut to stop himself from moaning embarrassingly loud. He didn't know if it was an effect of his dry spell or the skill of Spock, but he had never felt more turned on in his _life_.

Another ripple of pleasure sung through his mind, straight to his groin and had he not been sitting down he was pretty sure his knees would have given out.

He bit his lip viciously to stop himself from saying Spock's name as he climaxed, flopping back onto the bed as soon as Spock removed his hand.

"Did you just...did you just make me orgasm with your _mind_, Commander?" Jim hissed. He was more surprised than angry, but he couldn't work out why Spock would simply..._offer_. And why it hurt that it was nothing more than to sort out his 'current situation'.

Spock looked...well, he looked absolutely terrified, as though the truth of what he had just done had dawned on him. He straightened up, and turned to leave.

"W-wait!" Jim threw himself from the bed and reached out to stop him, but the action proved too much. His legs felt like jelly and he slid embarrassingly to the floor.

Spock hooked his hands beneath Jim's arms and hoisted him back onto the bed with ease. "If you are quite satisfied Captain, I must begin my shift." He was avoiding Jim's gaze.

"Satisfied," Jim said hollowly as the door shut behind Spock, "You have _no _idea."


	6. Chapter 6: Jim Gets a Heart Boner

**Chapter Six: Jim Gets a Heart Boner**

* * *

It took Jim eight and a half days to master knitting enough to actually make anything of use, but Spock's 'help' hadn't really helped him at all. In fact it had just made everything so much worse, because now Jim wanted to feel that again. He had never had sex or an orgasm that had felt so fucking amazing, and he now servicing himself just made him even more wound up and frustrated. He hadn't seen much of Spock since it had happened, as though he was avoiding him; purposely putting himself on opposite shifts, and Jim wouldn't have minded because not having him around meant he didn't have to stare at how tightly the trousers hugged his behind.

He wanted to feel that again. Actually, Jim wanted to shag Spock senseless _while_ he did his freaky mind-sex thing because that sounded like the best idea in the history of everything.

But that wasn't going to happen, so instead he knitted.

His first successful attempt was a pair of red socks, which he presented to Scotty with a proud grin on his face.

"I made these," he said brightly, "for you, Scotty!"

Scotty looked at them, bemused for only a second. Then his face lit up and he pulled Jim into a one armed hug.

"For me? Ah, Cap'n you shouldn't have. Aye, I'm going to put these on right now!"

Scotty removed his boots, and to the confusion of everyone else in engineering, pulled the socks on. They were slightly too big but Scotty said nothing, simply pulling his boots back on over them and ignoring the line of knitted red that poked out of the top.

"Thank ye, Jim. These are great!"

Jim smiled widely and turned away, ready to attack the knitting again. It was helpful, really. It took his mind off...mostly. He decided that he would make a hat for Bones, in science blue. Jim snickered at the thought and headed to his quarters to start. Maybe he could make a jumper for Spock. Jim remembered how the Vulcan had told him his mother used to make jumpers for him every year whenever the weather was at its lowest. He had the wool picked out ready and everything (and Jim didn't even think to question where the wool was from, the science department seemed to have loads of it for some reason) and it was the most gorgeous shade of blue. If he could manage it, Jim wanted to stitch the Enterprise onto the front.

By the last shift of the day, Jim had presented Uhura with a pair of red gloves, Chekov and Sulu with matching hats. He had given Bones a hat as well, but the doctor had flat out refused to wear it and so Jim had made him some blue socks instead. Bones had put them on with a scowl on his face, but he was still wearing them the last time Jim saw him, so he couldn't hate them _that _much.

Jim held the blue jumper in his arms and knocked hesitantly on Spock's door. It was about 3am, it had taken _hours_ to make the damn thing but it was ready.

"Spock?" he hissed at the door, "You in there?"

Only silence answered him, but then the door slid open to reveal Spock, his face blank but the softness in his eyes suggesting he had been asleep.

"Is there something I can help with Captain?" He asked politely.

Jim swallowed and looked down at the jumper in his arms. "Well..."

Spock raised a single eyebrow. "I have observed your knitting various items for the crew. I speculate that you have also knitted something for myself."

Jim nodded. "Right. Well I remembered what you said about...about your mom, so I uh. Yeah."

Jim handed Spock the blue bundle nervously, waiting to see his reaction with a certain amount of trepidation. Jumpers were nice right? He wasn't saying 'hey, I want to fuck you silly' by giving Spock a jumper...was he?

"Don't you like it?" Jim asked after a few moments of silence, "I can make a better one, I swear-"

Spock interrupted, his face unreadable. "What is the image on the front Captain?" He asked.

"It's err...it's the Enterprise."

Spock tilted his head slightly, and then he smiled, a proper full smile; something Jim had never seen him do before. "I see." He said. "Thank you Captain."

Jim grinned back at him like an idiot, something swelling in his chest at the sight of Spock _smiling_. He looked adorable. Jim just wanted to...wanted to...

_Oh jesus, he was completely fucked. _

"I'd uh, I'd better go." Jim said, "I'm glad you like it, seriously. Night!"

Jim fled to his quarters, heading straight for the shower. He jammed the temperature down so far that he almost screamed it was so cold (except he was a Captain and very manly so he wouldn't scream - more like yell in a masculine manner). It didn't help. He could still Spock smiling at him from beneath his lashes, his lips inviting.

Jim thunked his head against one wall of the shower and turned the heat back up. He felt absurdly guilty, but unless he got it...out of his system before he saw Spock again, he would end up jumping the poor guy. Not that Spock would ever consider the idea (he had left Uhura sure, but Jim was pretty sure he was straight), but it would make things pretty awkward.

X

Spock smiled at the jumped in his hands, tracing the outline of the roughly designed Enterprise on the front. It had been a long time since he'd worn a jumper; they had always reminded him of his mother and proved too painful, but this one was different. This one was from Jim. Spock pulled off his top and slid the jumped over his bare chest. It wasn't scratchy, like he had expected it to be, but soft and warm and it smelt like Jim. Spock moved to examine it in the mirror when he heard a sound that made him freeze.

There were strange strangled grunts coming from the bathroom.

He hesitated for a moment. Often Jim was very particular about his privacy-

There was a bang.

Straightening the jumper, Spock went over to the door of the shared bathroom and knocked. There was no answer, and so he slowly opened the door and peered inside.

"_FUCK_. Spock?! What the hell?"

"Captain, I heard a..." He froze.

Jim was curled in a ball on the floor of the shower, his knees brought up against his chest and both hands shoved between his legs in attempt to hide. It was fairly obvious even to Spock what he had been doing.

"Get out! Get the fuck out Spock!"

Jim's voice was strained, thick with shame and embarrassment, and so Spock closed the door and retreated into his room without a word.


	7. Chapter 7: Mr Muscle gets Drunk

**Chapter Seven: Mr Muscle Gets Drunk**

* * *

When Bones found Jim the next morning, he had to blink furiously to make sure what he was seeing was real. Unfortunately, it was. Jim was _cleaning_.

He had a pair of pink rubber gloves on, one hand holding a bottle of cleaning solution, a cloth over his arm and in the other hand was a mostly empty bottle of whisky. Bones turned around to see Spock entering the mess hall with the same disturbed expression on his face.

They were both wondering whether cutting down Jim's hours on duty had been a good idea or not, because it seemed that whenever Jim wasn't on the bridge, his hobbies were getting more and more out of hand. Jim never cooked, he had taught himself to knit, and now he was cleaning.

Bones looked at Spock. "I get it now. We're worried about him." He said, even though he knew what the problem was.

he didn't know that Spock knew as well. The Vulcan said nothing and marched over to Jim. "Captain." He said. "If you will remember correctly, Doctor McCoy and I lessened your workload so that you may relax in your quarters."

At Spock's voice, Jim took another swig of from the whiskey bottle and scrubbed even more viciously at the floor.

"I am _totally_ relaxed right now." Jim said through gritted teeth. "Now go away."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I'll take it from here." Bones said, appearing at his side. "I believe I have more experience with drunk Jim."

Spock gave him a curt nod and left the mess hall, standing outside the doors so that no one could enter, giving Bones and Jim some privacy, but also so that he could listen. In case they needed him of course.

"Jim." Bones prized the bottle of whiskey from his grip. "This is getting out of hand."

"Fucking tell me bout it!" Jim pulled off his gloves and threw them at the wall. "D'you know wha he did? D'you know wha he did Bones?" He slurred.

The doctor raised his eyebrows. "Who? Spock?"

"Yes. Spuuucaacck. He...he used some freaky vulcan shit on me!"

Bones knelt down so he was at eye level with Jim and bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt not to smile. Goddammit Jim was a fierce Captain, but slumped on the floor with those big baby blues blinking, he was about as frightening as a kitten.

"What sort of vulcan mind...shit?"

"He..." Jim tapped his head, "He made me orgasm. With his _mind_! Doesn't that break a...a thingy. A regulation? I didn't ask him to, he just...and now..." Jim's voice dropped to a whisper, "He _smiled_. I made him a jumper and he _smiled_ and now I'm just so fucking _horny_!"

Jim jerked the whisky from Bones, finished it with a gulp and threw it against the opposite wall.

Bones had gone very red in the face, and Jim wasn't sure whether he was going to laugh or shout. "He... made you_ orgasm_... with his _mind_..." He repeated, pronouncing each word slowly and carefully.

"Urghhhh..." Jim threw himself onto his back, splayed out on the floor. "Kill me."

"Well that's a bit overdramatic." Bones climbed to his feet and reached down to help his friend up. "How about we get you to yer room?"

Jim made another exasperated sound, but allowed himself to be pulled up. "Can't sleep. Need more booze... knock me out... or... more Spock... mmm... Spock..."

"Alright princess." Bones rolled his eyes.

"Mm... you smell like apples... and... dis-m-fectant..." Jim slurred, looking up at him.

"It's my shampoo." Bones rolled his eyes.

"Mm... kiss... you..." Jim suddenly made a lunge for his friend's mouth.

Bones took hold of Jim's face with his hand and gave him a hard shove. "No way!"

"Aw come on Bones! I need to fuck someone!"

"Then go fuck Spock if you love him so much!" He snapped.

Jim stared up at him tearfully.

"Oh shit. Jim I'm sorry. Just don't cry, alright!"

Jim huffed, his bottom lip jutting out. "Spock doesn't love _meee_." he wailed.

Bones raised his eyebrows. He knew Jim had some stupid crush on the vulcan (in fact everyone on the ship _except _for Jim and Spock themselves knew it), but he didn't realise it was _this _bad. He patted Jim awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Dammit, Jim. You two get on well, don't you?"

Jim nodded sadly. "But Bones I l-"

Bones slapped his hand over Jim's mouth before he could finish the sentence. He was a doctor, not a psychic but he was pretty sure the damn vulcan in question was waiting outside the door. McCoy didn't want Jim making things any _worse _for himself.

"How about we get yer back to yer room, hey?" He said quickly, walking him over to the door. "I prescribe a long hot bath and some maybe a sedative."

"Mmm..." Jim's eyes half-closed. "Wait! Where's Spock? I won't be able to sleep! I need him to do his freaky mind shit again!"

Bones rolled his eyes and pressed the panel for the mess hall door to slid open, and of course Spock was standing right outside. Luckily by this point Jim wasn't quite conscious enough to acknowledge his presence. Bones pursed his lips angrily.

"Get out of the way. Dammit, Spock you're not doing _anything _to 'help' Jim, alright? You leave him alone and let him sort himself out."

"Doctor McCoy you are mistaken, I have done nothing but try to aid Jim in any way I can." Spock was frowning, and he glanced down at Jim in a way that suggested he wanted to take him.

Bones released a small groan. "Fine! Take him! Just make sure he sleeps, and don't you dare fuck his mind again!" He gently handed Jim's half-conscious form over.

"I shall not. It was a mistake to do so in the first place." Spock said, scooping Jim up into his arms. "It was my mistake. Thank you Doctor McCoy."

Bones threw up his hands and walked off, grumbling to himself.


	8. Chapter 8: Cucumber Manicure

**Chapter Eight: Cucumber Manicure **

* * *

The next day, Jim couldn't remember his conversation with Bones. He couldn't even remember being in the mess hall cleaning or drinking. He spent the whole of his shift sitting in his chair with his head in his hands, thankful that The Enterprise's journey was smooth and not bumpy. No one said very much to him, and he was also thankful for this, but Spock and Uhura both gave him funny looks as though they knew something he didn't and Bones came up to the bridge a few times more than usual 'just to see him'.

Nobody saw him after his shift ended. Sulu took over the bridge while Uhura, Spock and Jim left to rest for seven hours, but Jim never headed towards his quarters. He headed straight for engineering because he knew Scotty was finishing too and he needed a different opinion to whatever was going on in his heart and in his pants. Scotty was sat with oily boots up on the desk and a magazine across his face, snoring loudly. Jim smiled as he approached him. It had been a few months since he'd spent some time with Scotty off-duty.

"Hey." He nudged his friend's shoulder.

Scotty made a startled snorting sound and sat bolt upright, his magazine slithering to the floor, falling open on a picture of some schematics that Jim didn't recognise. "Oh Cap'n!" He grinned. "What can I do for yer?"

"Just _boreeeeed_," Jim said in a sing-song voice, "Keep me occupied."

Scotty grinned. He knew what Jim's problem was (though he was attempting to ignore that tidbit of information about his Captain), and was sure that all the boy needed was a good strong scotch. Still, Scotty had other methods.

"I'll let yer in on a lil secret Jim." He leant forward in his chair. "Uhura's got me doing this girly stuff and it'd fantastic!" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Jim was intrigued. "Oh yeah? And what girly stuff is this?"

X

Uhura had decided in the end to accompany Spock to the science lab, where in his free time he had taken to tending to Jim's bonsai tree (because the Captain had completely forgotten about it) and after an hour they both headed to her quarters. Their conversation had veered towards an old book on Vulcan linguistics that Uhura had brought with her. There were passages that the lieutenant was struggling to understand, and so Spock had suggested taking a look at it with her.

What met them on entering her room however took them both by surprise, and as soon as they stepped into the room they froze.

Jim and Scotty were sat side by side on Uhura's bed. Their faces were covered in an orangey paste, eyes blocked by round pieces of cucumber. Scotty had removed one and was very carefully painting Jim's nails. Spock gaped at pair in a rather uncharacteristic display of emotion. Uhura simply raised an eyebrow and then collapsed into giggles.

"Is someone there?" Jim asked, his voice several octaves higher than usual. This sent Uhura over the edge, slumping against the wall she was laughing so hard.

Jim clambered to his feet, waving his hands about in attempt to dry the nail varnish (because he really didn't want blue stains down his yellow shirt) and then he strode over to the door with a hurt expression on his face. "Stop laughing! That's an order Lieutenant! This is becoming a real problem, and I'm sick of people taking the piss!"

He strode off down the corridor, uncaring that his face was still a bright shade of orange.

Uhura gave Scotty an apologetic look. "Oops." She whispered.

"The Captain is becoming more and more distressed by his celibate state." Spock commented, in a way that suggested he was trying to make sense of what the hell was going on.

Uhura chuckled.

"Oh, Spock. You are so adorable."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am confused, Nyota."

Uhura smiled, "Spock, you'll figure it out. And so will Kirk _eventually_. But I'm not kicking either of you up the ass, you'll have to use that big brain of yours."

Spock frowned and turned to leave for the sanctity of his quarters. He did not understand what Nyota had been referring to, and for once wished that someone would explain what was going on. He sat down on his bed, massaging his temples with his fingers.

Humans were very confusing.

He could hear Jim in their adjoining bathroom mumbling under his breath.

"Stupid nail varnish... doesn't come off... blue stains... damn Uhura... I'll show her..."

There was the sound of something hitting the floor.

"Fuck it... fuck everything... fuck Spock... no, wait... oh for-"

He felt silent after that as he passed from the bathroom to his room. Spock got to his feet and went to their adjoining door, raising a hand to knock, but then stopping as different sounds filled his ears. He could hear bed sheets rustling, a faint slapping sound, and heavy breathing. He recognised the sounds and knew what Jim was doing instantly; but it wasn't like last time in the shower. That time Jim had been grunting, and Spock had thought he was in trouble. This time the sounds were more controlled. Spock was intrigued.

He listened - half of him wondering what the _hell_ he was doing, the other half unable to _stop_ listening - until there was a muffled yell and silence.

"Fuck you Spock and your tight trousers and perfect... urgh..." He heard, followed shortly by loud snoring.

Spock went over to his bed and sat down, trying to make sense of everything he had just heard.


	9. Chapter 9: Your Face Broke my Fist

**Chapter 9: Your Face Broke My Fist**

* * *

_My shirt is yellow, his shirt is blue,_

_I think I'm in love, the fuck do I do?_

_Why are a Vulcan's ears so pointy?_

_Why is their blood so green?_

_Why is writing poetry so fucking hard damnit Jim-_

While Jim was succeeding at expressing his frustration, he was getting nowhere in writing a poem. The next day, after his shift, he had retreated into the quiet of his room, and after an extra long extra cold shower had had happened upon an old-style notebook and a pen while attempting to sort out a box of random objects that the science lab had asked him to look through. Jim had decided to write a poem; a heart-felt poem expressing his love for his half-Vulcan First Officer and maybe he would fall in love with him back and they'd be super happy together and get to snuggle and kiss and nuzzle and have sexy times.

_How do I compare thee to a summer's day?_

_Well your blood is green like grass,_

_And your eyes are brown like chocolate,_

_Even though chocolate has nothing to do with a summer's day-_

Jim pulled the page from the notebook and screwed it up, throwing it against the wall as hard as he could. His whole room was littered with balls of paper, and the notebook had almost ran out. He stood up, stretched, clicked his neck. He was the Captain of the USS Enterprise, he had faced unspeakable horrors. He had cheated death. How hard could it be to confess his apparently undying love (and lust) for his First Officer. Who happened to be half vulcan. And who was also probably straight.

"Get a grip, Jim." he told himself angrily, pulling on his uniform. "You can do it. Just three words, just go right out and say it. Head on tactics, like always."

Jim strode from his room and took the lift up to the science labs. Sure enough, Spock was bent over some microscope. Jim took a moment to admire the uh _view_ before standing beside him and clearing his throat.

"Commander Spock." Jim cleared his throat. "I need to talk to you. Err... privately. Is there somewhere we can... um..."

Spock straightened up and clasped his hands behind his back. "Of course Captain. I believe there may be a room available."

He led him to a testing room; a small area bathed in orange light with no windows and a sealable door.

Jim tapped his fingers against his thigh. "Okay... so... I wanted to... Shit, this is hard."

"Is something the matter Captain?" Spock asked, and then something flashed across his face. "Jim? Is there anything I can do to help you?"

A dark blush crossed Jim's face as he remembered that. "No. No, thanks. I err..."

"Spock, are you in here?"

At the sound of Uhura's voice, Jim jumped like Bones had just shoved a hypospray up his ass and fled the room. Uhura watched him run with barely contained laughter.

"I am seriously considering the explanation that the Captain has lost control of his mental faculties."

Uhura grinned, "No doubt about it. I can solve it though."

Spock raised an eyebrow, "You can?"

"Trust me. Just...just play along."

Spock gave her a nod. He trusted Uhura with his life; she was his friend, and if she could help him to help Jim then he was on board. The next time he saw the Captain was in the mess hall later that day. Jim wondered over to him awkwardly with his tray of lunch, looking very much like he had no idea what was going on about him. His blond hair was stuck up in funny angles, which it hadn't been earlier, and his cheeks were flushed bright red.

"Mind if I join you?" He gave Spock one of his cocky grins.

Spock gave him a smile in return, a proper one, like when he had received the jumper, because there wasn't many people about and Jim was his closest friend, and there was no Vulcan rule about not being able to smile.

"Of course Captain." He said.

Jim shuffled stiffly into a chair in front of him. "So... about earlier..." He swallowed.

Spock tilted his head to one side. "You wish to discuss with me something that is difficult." He commented. "I would like to remind you Captain that I am you friend, and you can discuss anything with me if you so chose."

Jim's already flushed cheeks darkened, but at that moment Uhura bounded over. She grinned at Jim, and then at Spock, trailing a hand lovingly across the Vulcan's shoulders before sitting very close to him.

"Hey, Kirk." she flashed Jim a smile, ignoring the evil glare he was shooting her. She pressed a kiss to Spock's cheek, "Hey, Spock."

Jim looked like he was between throwing up and punching something. Instead he stabbed the sausages on his plate particularly vehemently.

"Didn't know you two were back together." he managed between gritted teeth. One hand was clenched under the table.

Spock simply nodded, and Uhura smiled.

"We thought we'd give things another try."

"What about Scotty?" Jim challenged. Uhura's smile didn't fade an inch, and she simply rested her head on Spock's shoulder.

"We decided to stay friends. He understands how _good _Spock and I are together."

Jim pushed the rest of his food away, "Well, I'm happy for you. I need to uh...I'm going to go back on duty."

"Captain, your next shift does not start for another six hours." Spock said, looking rather confused. Jim got up forcing a smile onto his face.

"I'm feeling extra Captain-y today."

He strode from the room quickly. While he was intending to go to the bridge, he ended up having to make a detour to throw up in the nearest bathroom. He washed his face and rested his head on the cool tiles. This was a fucking _disaster_.

X

By the time Spock was back on duty, the bridge was eerily silent. Spock sat at his station and looked around curiously. Chekov and Sulu were exchanging concerned and vaguely terrified looks, and not a single crew member was speaking. Spock could see the top of Jim's head over his chair, and would have considered asking what the problem was except from when he caught the image of the Captain's reflection on one of the shiny surfaces.

To put it bluntly, he looked _terrible_. He evidently hadn't slept since Spock had last seen him (twelve hours ago), there were dark shadows under his eyes and they looked distinctly less _blue_ than usual. He was almost hunched in himself on the chair instead of sitting in a position that exuded his customary confidence. Spock didn't know what to do.

"Captain." He started, stepping towards the chair.

Everyone on the bridge froze.

Kirk slowly spun his chair about to look up at him. "What do you want_ Commander_?" He hissed through clenched teeth.

Spock actually raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I apologise if I have done something to..." Spock hesitated, he could not think of any logical reason why the Captain would be upset with him, but then he also did not find the pretense with Nyota to be logical, so he was clearly missing something. "If I have upset you. I cannot think of such an occurrence but I am aware that I can be found lacking in expertise in some matters of human behavior."

Chekov was half wincing in anticipation of Jim's answer.

"You haven't _upset_ me." Jim growled, and then stood. "You know what, Spock? I could do with some sparring practice. Now. That's an order."

Sulu smacked Chekov around the head, the Russian was staring at the Captain and Spock with his mouth open in unconcealed horror. Jim didn't seem to notice, his eyes boring into Spock's. Spock looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"If you so wish it." He bowed his head. "You wish to begin... now?"

"Damn right I do." Jim spun about and pointed at Sulu. "You. Chair." And then he marched from the bridge into the turbolift.

Spock only just reached it in time before the doors slid shut.

"Jim, are you well?" he asked carefully.

Jim was staring at the walls of the turbolift blankly.

"I'm just peachy, thank you." he replied. Spock noticed that Jim's hands were shaking. It was obvious that he was lying, and to his surprise there was a twinge of hurt at that fact. Spock had thought...he had thought they were friends. In fact he considered Jim to be the truest friend that he had. He did not understand what had changed. Before he had time to consider the events of the day and correlate when Jim's odd(er) behavior had started, the lift reached the gym. Jim stepped out and pulled off his yellow shirt, standing on the mats in just his black undershirt and with a challenging look in his eye.

"You do not wish to change into a regulation sparring uniform?" Spock question, an eyebrows quirked.

Jim pulled a face. "Just come at me already."

Spock glanced about the room. There were five men in training but they had all stopped at the arrival of their captain, and were watching with interest. The Vulcan stepped onto the mat and faced Jim.

"Don't you dare hold back." Jim said.

"I believe my Vulcan strength would be too much-"

"That's an order Commander." Jim seemed to have a death wish. He suddenly looked half-crazed, desperate.

Despite his orders, Spock swung his fist using the approximate strength of a human. He would _not_ hurt Jim. He could not help the gasp that escaped his lips when Jim ducked, catching Spock's arm and wrenching it painfully. If Spock had been human, Jim would have just snapped it in half. Spock settled back in a defensive stance, following Jim's footsteps warily.

Jim attacked again in a flurry of angry hits, Spock blocking them all and being both impressed and worried by the full strength that were behind Jim's blows.

"You're holding back," Jim sneered, knowing that Spock would not take the bait. He wondered what he could say so that he _would_. He needed to hit someone, and he wanted a fight. Not a fair one either. Jim had coped with the shit that had been his childhood and his home by seeking out fights whenever he could. He wanted to deal out the pain as much as he wanted to feel it. Physical pain was easy. Emotional pain wasn't.

"I am only doing what I believe to be logical." Spock replied. "I am match enough for you, even at half my strength."

This made Jim angrier. He threw a punch for Spock's throat but the Vulcan easily deflected him. "You don't think I can take you?" He puffed out his cheeks. "You're too good for me, is that it?"

Spock was confused, but he didn't have time to reply because Jim was lashing out at him again. Spock caught the blow on his forearm, twisting to grasp Jim's arm and use his superior strength to flip Jim onto the floor. He landed on his back on the mat with a _thwump_ that knocked the breath from his lungs. Jim swore and got to his feet, ignoring the dull pain across his shoulders.

"I do not believe this is an appropriate way of dealing with your current condition Captain." He said quietly, holding up both arms and then rolling out of the way to avoid being hit.

His defensive strategy only seemed to be infuriating Jim more however. "My current condition is it?" He snapped.

"Captain, I was only-"

Jim's leg suddenly connected with the back of his knee and Spock felt his back connect heavily with the floor. Jim pressed his booted foot to his chest, hard. "Why didn't you tell me you and Uhura were back together?" He hissed.

Spock raised his eyebrows. "Captain, I-"

"I mean it's fine and all. It doesn't bother me. Why should I care? You two were together before... that never bothered me... I'm happy for you..." He trailed off, realising he sounded crazy, and he removed his foot. "Get up. Come at me again."

Spock climbed slowly to his feet, brushing himself down, but he barely had time to take up a stance before he was forced to block a high round kick from Jim. Hoping to calm the Captain (although why Jim found submitting to physical pain calming he did not understand), Spock attacked. He did not expect Jim to drop his hands and allow the blows to hit him full in the ribs. He staggered backwards, eyes lit with adrenaline.

"My apolo-"

Spock narrowly avoided Jim punching him straight in the face. Wanting to put an end to Jim's somewhat _frightening _lack of self preservation, Spock grabbed Jim's left arm and yanked it out of its socket. Jim let out a small moan of pain and stepped backwards.

"I believe that we s-"

Spock didn't have time to tell Jim to _stop _because Jim's fist had connected with the elegant line of Spock's jaw. Pain shuddered up Jim's right arm.

"_Fuck_! Fuck!" Jim cradled his hand, "I broke my wrist on your _face _you green blooded _bastard_!"

The Vulcan took hold of his arm, his long slender fingers caressing Jim's broken wrist tenderly, trying to ignore the sting from Jim's words.

"Fetch for Doctor McCoy." Spock ordered. "Immediately!"

"Don't bother, I can get to him myself!" Jim hissed.

Spock gave him an apologetic look. "Jim..."

"Leave it, Spock. Just...leave me alone. Please."

Spock watched Jim go and wondered what had happened to make Jim look so...so _broken_.


	10. Chapter 10: Bar 1 - Jim 0

**Chapter 10: Bar 1 - Jim 0**

* * *

The _Enterprise_ was currently docked on a Federation planet to refuel. The crew had taken to the idea of a weeks worth of shore leave with great enthusiasm - Jim less so. He had waited until everyone had left before changing into a pair of jeans and a leather jacket, what he had worn before Starfleet. He had then headed to the most dodgy part of town he could find, and then to the bar with the cheapest drinks. He had lost count already, setting up a tab and drinking as quickly as he could.

Jim couldn't remember the last time he had got so drunk. He was _beyond_ drunk really, more like heading towards needing his stomach pumped. He just wanted to _not_ be in love with Spock because then he could go and get laid, and he'd be fine. But no. Because apparently he was a complete fucking _idiot. _Jim ignored the buzz of his communicator and ordered another shot. The whole being in love wasn't the worst part though. The worst part was that Uhura and Spock weren't together at all. They had been playing a _trick _on him.

Jim wondered who else knew. The fact that his entire crew apparently thought that turning him into a jealous idiot would be _funny_ was making him want to hit something really, really hard.

At the entrance of the bar Uhura and Spock were standing together.

"I didn't think _this_ would happen." Nyota whispered, biting her lip, "he looks awful. Spock, go and talk to him."

Spock looked at her. "The last time I spoke to the Captain I dislocated his shoulder. I also do not understand what has prompted his current state, though I can tell _you_ do."

Nyota rolled her eyes and pushed Spock towards the bar, "Look, just go and talk to him. There's not a chance in hell he's going to talk to me."

The Vulcan gave her a look that clearly stated he was not happy about this, but then smartened the robes he was wearing before striding through the crowd. However when he was only a few feet from the Captain, a beautiful Orion blocked his way, leaning on the bar. Jim looked at her with a squint, trying to make out one feature from the next and deciding that she was incredibly attractive. Not as attractive as Spock though. He skin was too green; not white, and her eyes were yellow, not brown. Jim politely refused whatever her offer had been, only to come face to face with the Vulcan himself.

At first, Jim knew he was imagining it because what the hell found Spock be doing in a bar in a part of town such as this. He pulled out his communicator. All the messages and calls had been from Spock. He bit his lip and downed his shot, before ordering two more, deciding to ignore his commander.

"Jim." Spock's voice was quiet and close to his ear, so that only he heard it. Jim stared very intently at the empty shot glass. "Jim, are you alright?"

Jim took the next two shots one straight after the other, ignoring the disapproving look that he knew would be on Spock's face.

"I'm doing great." he said through gritted teeth. The appearance of Spock was making him feel more sober - which was not good.

As Jim reached out to pick up a third shot that the bartender had poured for him, Spock's hand appeared over the glass. Without even a hint of effort or pain, Spock pressed the glass inot the bar, smashing it into tiny pieces. He then turned to the bar tender and pulled a handful of credits from his pocket.

"I shall pay for his tab now." Spock said.

Jim stared at his shot glass, slightly in awe. Then he shook his head.

"No he shall _not_ pay for my tab." Jim growled and reached over the bar for the first bottle of alcohol his hands could grab onto. It was pink. Jim shrugged and undid the top.

Spock took hold of his arm with a bone breaking grip, but not enough to actually injure him. He pried the bottle from his hand and paid the tab, before dragging Jim to his feet and from the bar. Jim stared at Uhura for help as they passed her but she just raised her eyebrows. Jim didn't like it when Spock got angry like this.

Jim decided to use the guilt trip. As Spock yanked him harder, Jim made a small little whimper of pain. In all honesty the shoulder Spock had dislocated was fine now, but Spock didn't need to know that.

However, the grip did not lessen. Spock marched him all the way through town, which proved difficult because Jim wasn't exactly stable on his feet, and he didn't stop until they reached the hotel where some of the crew had decided to stay rather than on the ship. They passed Chekov and Sulu in the restaurant, who were almost immediately on their feet, and then Bones who opened his mouth in protest but stopped at the glare he received from Spock. Jim started to think hat he was about to die at the hands of one pissed off Vulcan.

"Okay we're back! You can get off now!" Jim protested, whimpering once again as he arm actually began to ache.

Spock bundled him roughly into Jim's and then pushed him down onto the bed. "Jim, I once believed that you and I were friends, however recent happenings have led me to believe otherwise. I have tried to comprehend what is happening in your life at the moment, however I cannot."

Jim shoved Spock off of him, "That would be because it's none of your _fucking _business, alright?"

He saw Spock flinch slightly at his brusque language. "I am only trying to help you Jim. If there is anything I can do to lessen your pain." He looked down at his hands, as though something had suddenly crossed his mind.

"No!" Jim held out a finger at him. "Don't you fucking_ dare_! That's an order Commander!"

Spock lowered his hands, a lost expression coming across his face. "Jim. You know that I am not well versed in Human emotions such as those you are currently experiencing. If you would please explain to m-"

"No! I will not _explain_ to you, it's apparently fucking obvious to everyone else so I don't see why the hell you apparently have _no_ idea. Are you really that fucking stupid about human shit?"

Spock's face went blank, his eyes cold, and he balled his hands. "I can see that the friendship we once shared is terminated." He said. "If it is what you desire, I shall refrain from being anything but your First Officer." He turned towards the door. "Good evening Captain." And he opened the door.

Jim panicked. This wasn't what he wanted. By the time his drunken brain had caught up with him, the words had slipped from his mouth. Well, he sorted of shouted it really.

"It's 'cos I fucking _love _you, Spock? Alright? I'm pathetically in love with you and-_shit_."

Jim clapped both hands over his mouth in horror.

The Vulcan froze in the doorway, completely. His breath escaped him, his eyes widened, he couldn't move even if he wanted too which was completely illogical. Jim couldn't move either, but for him it was utter terror. For Spock it was... uncertainty. He turned his head just enough to glimpse Jim out of the corner of his eye and then he left as quickly as he could without running.

Jim slumped to the floor. There was a bottle of strong Orion spirit that Bones had bought him a few christmases ago. Jim opened it and drunk almost half the bottle in one go. He swayed slightly for a moment and then ran to the bathroom, being violently and horrendously sick. He wondered if Spock could hear him through the wall. He wondered what Spock thought of him now.

X

The first thing Jim noticed when he woke up was that he was in his quarters on The Enterprise, which confused him because he was pretty sure he passed out in the hotel bathroom. The second thing that confused him was that he didn't feel awful. Jim raised a hand to his head, and noticed an IV in his arm, but when he went to yank it out a hand shot from nowhere to stop him. Jim's heart leapt in the hope that it was Spock, but when he turned his head he saw Bones instead. The doctor looked absolutely livid with him.

"Yer a fucking imbecile, yer know that?" Bones snapped, and he looked about ready to throttle him. "Yer've been out for a whole day! Yer about drank yerself into a coma!"

Jim felt a pang of guilt. But he had to ask-

"Did you know Spock and Uhura faked being together?" his mouth was dry and tasted _awful_. Bones sighed and handed him some water.

"Dammit, it was Uhura's idea and I told her not to. I didn't want to exactly tell her that you'd go all alcoholic and look for a death-wish but I did damn well tell her not to."

Jim rinsed his mouth, the water cool and soothing. "Thanks, Bones."

"Don't thank me, you still need to damn well tell the pointy-"

"I did tell him."

Bones blinked. "You did? What did he say?"

Jim rolled his eyes and gestured to himself. "You just had to pump my stomach, what do you _think_ he said?"

"Well I still think you should talk to him." Bones grumbled. "He's not been right since last night. He's gone all... in on himself."

Jim sighed. "And what would I say? There's no point, Bones. Not a chance in hell he'd ever _love _an idiot like me."

"Dammit, Jim."


	11. Chapter 11: Problem Solved

**Chapter 11: Problem Solved**

this is the last chapter!

I'm warning you now, there is so much smut in this chapter it's almost ridiculous. That said, please enjoy. Thank you for all of the reviews/follows/favs :)

* * *

Jim had put himself on permanent duty. Because if he wasn't asleep, he couldn't dream and if he wasn't off duty, no one could talk to him. They were only sitting in dock, but still Jim refused to move from his chair, staring out into the black with bloodshot eyes. Uhura didn't dare speak to him, and he hadn't heard from Spock either. Fine. That was fine because he'd be fine on his own. It wasn't like being alone was anything new.

_How did this get so fucked up? I was just horny, but now I'm in love with my First Officer. My half vulcan first officer who ran away after I told him I loved him. Fuck._

Jim had locked down the bridge - it was about 3 in the morning and he was the only one currently on duty up there. He'd punched in his Captain's override so no one could get in. He nursed a glass of whisky in one hand, but after drinking himself into oblivion the last time, the idea of getting so drunk he couldn't think wasn't so attractive. He set the whisky down on the floor and slumped forwards, head in his hands. He hadn't been this fucked up since he'd nearly driven himself and that damn car off of the cliff.

Jim Kirk had come to the conclusion that loving people was shit.

What he heard next took him completely by surprise. There was a thud, followed by a sizzle, and he turned around to see Spock ripping open the turbolift with his bare hands. The Vulcan's face was void of any emotion, his eyes black and blank, and as soon as there was space enough he strode onto the bridge.

"What the-" Jim rose to his feet.

Spock however marched directly up to him and took hold of his shoulder, at the base of his neck. The last thing Jim felt was strong arms catching him before he hit the ground.

When he woke up he felt, surprisingly, a lot better. He was curled up on his bed in his boxers and he blearily rolled over and looked at the digital display by his bed. It was 2am. He frowned and sat up. He'd slept for nearly a whole _day_. He suddenly remembered Spock coming in and-

Did Spock _undress _him?

Jim sat up. His trousers, shirt and undershirt were folded neatly at the foot of his bed, the boots placed beneath. Definitely Spock. No one else would actually _fold_ his clothes. The fact that Spock had undressed him would have once sent a thrill down his spine. Instead Jim just heaved himself to his feet and headed to the shower, picking up a pair of clean underwear on his way.

By the time he had finished and gone back into his room, he was assaulted with the smell of what seemed to be a full fry up. A tray with a plate towering in sausages, eggs, bacon and beans, accompanied with a thick strawberry milkshake sat on the bedside table. Jim's stomach rumbled, but a movement from the doorway caught his attention and he whipped around, damp and dressed in only his clean boxers. They were regulation Captain gold and Jim was very proud of them.

"Wait!" He said quickly, because it was obvious that Spock was trying to get away without being seen.

The Vulcan tensed, straightened up, and then turned in a way that was very First Officer like. "Is there anything else you may need Captain?" He asked.

Everything about him was emotionless. A stone statue. Jim didn't like it. He had done this to Spock. And what had Spock ever done to him?

"Spock, look-" Jim ran a hand through his hair, and then pulled on his trousers, "I'm sorry okay? I know how uncomfortable vulcans are with the whole emotional shit and I shouldn't have dumped it on you. I shouldn't have acted like a damn child, it's not your fault you don't feel the same." he sat down with the tray balanced on his lap and began to eat. "I'm sorry, really."

Spock stepped back into the room and shut the door behind him, and then he moved to sit at Jim's desk. "You do not have anything to apologise for Captain."

Jim winced. "Look... you can stop, okay? Please? I want to go back to before. To... to fr..." He swallowed. For some reason he couldn't say it.

"It is your wish to initiate a friendship?" Spock asked, still as blankly as before.

Jim finished his plate and moved on to the milkshake.

"Not really. But I don't want to lose you Spock - but I understand if you-"

Spock interrupted, "Jim." Was all he said.

Jim didn't even realise that Spock had at some point risen to his feet and approached the bed. Quicker than a blink, the tray was was on the floor and Spock had knelt down in front of him, his fingertips touching Jim's face so tenderly he could only just feel them, and then Spock pressed together their lips. Jim was sitting still as a statue and Spock pulled away, his brown eyes uncertain.

"I apologise, I thoug-"

Jim grabbed Spock, pulling him so the vulcan was straddling his hips, sitting in his lap and kissed him like his life depended on it. The feel of Spock's lips against his was mesmerizing, warm and so very _right_ that it almost hurt. Spock's lips parted and Jim deepened the kiss.

Spock tangled his hands in Jim's blonde hair. His mouth tasted of strawberry milkshake, his hair soft beneath Spock's fingers. Jim was trembling and Spock pulled away, concerned.

"S-Sorry." Jim tried to suck in a breath, chuckling in an embarrassed way. "Y-You have no idea."

Spock smiled at him, a proper one, and touched his face again. Jim felt a jolt and was immediately reminded of when Spock had made him climax with his mind, but this was different. There was no surge of unbelievable pleasure. It felt like warm fingers were gently stroking his mind, comforting it, soothing it, easing the ache he felt from pent up sexual frustration and all the hurt he had been dealt recently. Jim closed his eyes and tilted his head into Spock's hand.

_Jim._

His eyes snapped open, but Spock wasn't speaking. Not with his mouth at least. He smiled at Jim before closing his eyes, and Jim followed suit.

_Jim. T'hy'la. You need not hurt any longer. I am here for you._

It was unbelievable. Jim felt his heart flutter gently against his ribs, and all he could do was grin.

_I am sorry it took me so very long to realise my feelings for you. But you have nothing to fear now. I love you Jim. I always have. And I always will._

_Oh my...shit. Really?_

_Yes._

Jim grabbed Spock's shoulders and pulled him down, Jim sprawling on to the bed, Spock's body hot and pressed flush to his. Jim's heart was thumping in his chest as he kissed Spock again, slowly, savouring the feel of his tongue against his lips, the way Spock's eyes became softer and unfocused. Spock's lips moved slowly against his own, gaining confidence as Jim let out a small sigh of pleasure.

_Is this real? _It couldn't be real. It was too wonderful to be real.

_It is real._

_How...how are you still inside my head?_

_Would you like me to leave?_

Jim kissed him harder.

_No._

Spock hoisted himself up slightly, breaking the kiss so that he could stare into Jim's baby blues, as though searching for something, and Jim suddenly realised that this was probably the first time Spock had been with a man. It wasn't difficult to figure out where everything went, but this was Spock. And had he even slept with Uhura? Neither of them had ever mentioned it. Giving him a small smile, Jim sat Spock up, but remained lying down, and slid his hands up Spock's shirt. The Vulcan took the hint and removed his top, and Jim couldn't help grinning at the sight of his toned chest and abdomen.

Spock's breathing hitched as Jim pulled the top off of him, pressing nervous kisses to the smooth skin of his chest. Spock's hands were running down Jim's skin seemingly of their own accord, and every touch set Jim on fire. His hands grazed Jim's hips and Jim let out a strangled gasp.

"I apologise." Spock was slightly breathless. "I do not know what has come over me. I feel very..." He trailed off, removing his hands from Jim and staring at them.

"Horny," Jim finished for him, grinning. "Now you can really _empathize_ with my problem."

A faint green flush came to Spock's cheeks. "Yes I can. Would you care to suggest our course of action?"

Jim groaned a little. "You're so commandery sometimes." He complained, and he bucked his hips upwards.

To his delight Spock released an unsupressed moan and doubled over.

"Or would you prefer it if I went all Captain on your ass." Jim stuck his tongue out between his teeth. "Literally."

Spock looked up at him, his eyes dark with lust, and then he lunged for Jim's lips, kissing him with a passion that easily reflected his Vulcan strength. Jim responded eagerly, nipping Spock's lower lip in his teeth and wandering one hand down the back of Spock's trousers.

His behind was just as tight as it always looked in his trousers, and as Spock broke the kiss to bury his face into Jim's chest, he worked quickly to undo Spock's trousers and pull them down over his behind. The Vulcan drew in a shaky breath, looking up at him.

_Jim. Should we be doing this? We have only just established the feelings we hold for one another._

Jim rested his hands back up on Spock's waist, his thumb gently stroking the soft skin.

_It's up to you. I know what this...I know what this means to vulcans. But I have to say, for me - for me I don't think there could ever be anyone else but you. I promise you that. I'm not going to fuck this up. _

A small smile flickered across Spock's face.

_I too have come to the conclusion that I wish to be with nobody but you Jim._

He kissed Jim gently, fingers teasing the zip on his trousers as though he wanted to remove them, but was unsure. Jim wriggled beneath him and managed to undo his trousers by himself, shuffling them off, and they parted briefly to undress, until they were only in their underwear. Both pairs were tight. Jim glanced down at his regulation gold before looking at Spock's, which were simply blank, and unable to hold himself back any longer he took hold of Spock by his shoulders and forced him down onto the bed. He saw the Vulcan's eyes widen in shock, but then as Jim attacked his waist and hips with kisses, all Spock could do was clench his teeth. He tried not to moan, which of course Jim saw as a challenge.

He took his time, stroking Spock gently through the fabric of his underwear and licking and kissing his way across Spock's hips. The only noise coming from Spock was increasingly heavy breathing, and so Jim switched tactics, moving his mouth to kiss and suck on Spock's inner thighs.

And Spock swore loudly. In Vulcan.

It sent a shudder down Jim's spine, and it was all he could do to stop himself from gobbling Spock up right that second. He slid off the Vulcan's underwear and continued with his teasing, leaving the throbbing member completely alone for now. He had had to wait for this. He was going to make Spock wait for it too. Still, he found that he had to take a moment to compose himself.

It took him completely by surprise when Spock flipped them over so he was on top, eyes burning down into Jim with such lust that it took Jim's breath away. He opened his mouth to protest but Spock began kissing his jaw, hesitantly at first but with more hunger as Jim grabbed hold of the sheets in an attempt to restrain himself. Spock nipped gently at his neck, one hand running through Jim's hair and the other wandering down towards Jim's crotch.

Jim had never been so turned on in his _life._

When Spock sucked at Jim's collarbone, he couldn't help the loud moan from escaping his lips and immediately flushed with embarrassment.

"I am not accustomed to such sounds." Spock's lips quirked into what was definitely a smirk.

Jim pursed his lips. "Shut up."

"I am wondering how we are to conduct this." Spock then said.

Jim bit his bottom lip. He couldn't deny (now that the initial shock of having Spock actually want him had worn off) that he was warming to the whole Captain-Commander role-play in bed.

"You're sure you want to-"

"Yes." Spock's voice was barely above a whisper. Jim leaned up and kissed him gently.

"In which case I'd uh..." _don't blush Jim, get a grip_, "I suggest I um. Go on bottom. It'll be less painful for me because I've uh, done it before."

Spock raised an eyebrow. Jim smacked him gently on the stomach.

"I don't want to hurt you." Jim said gently "And if I'm honest, the thought of you fucking me silly sounds pretty good to me."

A deep green blush crossed Spock's face, and he looked down to where Jim was still touching his stomach. "Jim. I apologise, I do not-"

"I'll guide you." Jim was practically trembling with excitement now, and he snaked a hand about the Vulcan's neck. "Come here. Kiss me. I'll guide you."

Spock allowed himself to be pulled into a kiss, and Jim could hear a faint echo of Spock's uncertain thoughts.

"I can still hear your thoughts?" Jim whispered into Spock's lips. Spock flushed slightly.

"It appears our mental connection is unusually strong."

Jim smiled and kissed Spock again, teasing his lips with his tongue, every small moan and gasp that Spock made sending heat straight down to his groin. At the last shock of lust, Spock's eyes flared open and he panted slightly.

_I can feel your desire, Jim._

Jim's grin widened until it was positively _wicked_.

_Good. I want you to feel it._ He paused. _I can't feel yours very much, Spock._

A darker green crossed the Vulcan's cheeks. "Jim..." He started, out loud.

"What? Did I say something wrong? Should I-"

A sudden wave of arousal washed over him, so powerful that Jim almost climaxed there and then. He arched his back and threw his head to one side, clutching at the bed sheets tightly. Spock lifted himself up so that he was directly over Jim, staring into his face and watching him intently. Jim felt a second wave, and then a third.

"St-stop!" He choked, finding it almost too much. He took in a deep breath, his grip on the sheets relaxing. Spock was smiling _smugly_. Damn half vulcan bastard. Intent on revenge, Jim twisted his hips, depositing Spock in a heap on the bed. Without letting him pause for breath, Jim clambered on top of him and pressed hard, teasing kisses on his hips. As he moved closer and closer to Spock's erection, Spock let out a strangled moan, burying his hands in Jim's hair.

"Jim, _please_..." he said hoarsely.

"What's wrong?" Jim looked up at him, his lips hovering over the tip, not quite touching it yet. "What do you want?"

Spock's bottom lip jutted out a little. "Jim, if you insist on withholding sexual gratification until I recite to you want I desire, then we shall be here for an exceptionally long time, and I believe I would triumph in controlling myself."

Jim mock sighed. "Your wish is my command."

Spock jerked and moaned so loudly that had he not been so distracted by the feel of Jim's wet mouth covering him that he would have been embarrassed. Jim rubbed intricate patterns on the soft skin of Spock's thighs as he licked and kissed and sucked and teased, feeling rather pleased with himself when Spock almost ripped the bedcovers in half.

You're so... big." Jim whispered up at him, in both awe and appreciation. "I can't wait to feel you inside me."

Spock made a choking sound. "I do not think I shall be able to-"

Jim wrapped his hand around the base of Spock's cock and looked up with feigned innocence.

"Nuh-_uh_, Spock. You don't get to orgasm just _yet_."

Spock practically _whimpered_, and that was the precise moment that Jim lost it. He practically snapped the front off of the drawer by the bed as he yanked it open, tossing a bottle of lube at Spock. His boxers were uncomfortably tight and he tapped impatiently on his leg as Spock examined the bottle Jim had just thrown at him.

"This is a form of lubrication." Spock said.

"Oh don't act like you don't know what to do with it." Jim wriggled on the bed. "Are you actually going to make me wait?"

He suddenly felt a pang of unease and guilt that were not his.

"I apologise, Jim." Spock moved onto his hands and knees, looking down at Jim's boxers before starting to remove them slowly. Jim's breathing became uneven and he threaded his fingers through Spock's dark hair, his little finger gently pressing against the nape of Spock's next. He could feel the warmth in Spock's mind at the touch.

_Jim..._

He opened his eyes and looked up. _Yes, Spock?_

_You said you would guide me._

Jim couldn't help but smile at the innocence and naivety of his First Officer. He took the lube from Spock and opened it, squeezing some onto the Vulcan's long fingers, and the he dragged Spock into a kiss, guiding his hand down to his behind, hoping Spock would understand. He never anticipated just how long those fingers were. Jim moaned into his mouth and kissed him deeper, pulling him harder against him, and Jim didn't even feel Spock remove his fingers until he was pushing himself in.

"_Fuck_-" Jim managed, blinking in surprise as Spock used his hips to push Jim back onto the bed. "Oh-_shit_."

He could see Spock's arms trembling as he braced himself upright, their bodies melting each other from the hips down. Spock hooked one arm around Jim's left leg and thrust in deeper.

Jim hastily smothered his mouth with his hands to muffle the yell. He could feel Spock's control slipping at the back of his mind, but still the uncertainty. So, hesitantly he attempted to push the absolute _ecstasy _of the feeling of Spock inside him from his mind to Spock's.

Spock's grip on Jim's leg spasmed tightly. It hurt a little and he could see Spock looking guilty but hey, Jim had always been one for rough sex so he did it again. This time as the lust jolted through them both, Spock's eyes rolled back into his head slightly, the pace of his thrusts increasing. Jim wasn't even trying to keep quiet anymore.

He tilted back his head and sucked in a long deep shuddering breath, trying his best to hold on, but the past few weeks hadn't exactly been easy on him - hell the whole ship knew that - and before he could stop the inevitable, Jim climaxed loudly and messily over Spock's stomach. Spock halted his thrusting immediately and stared down at him, a curious expression on his face.

"F-fuck!" Jim grabbed his discarded captain's shirt and hid his face with it. "Fuck, fuck fuck!"

"Fascinating." Spock whispered, and then he shifted slightly as though to pull out.

The movement sent a jolt through Jim; his whole lower half felt incredibly sensitive now. "W-wait!" Jim grabbed hold of his arm.

Spock halted again and supported himself on one arm, using his other to gently slide the shirt off from Jim's face, and then he nuzzled his cheek and jaw affectionately. "You should not be embarrassed my T'hy'la." He whispered, turning his nuzzling into soft butterflies kisses. "It is still of an early hour, and I believe I know what I am doing now."

"...I'm usually very good at this." Jim huffed, "I wanted your first time to be amazing."

Spock was about to speak when Jim wrapped both of his legs around Spock's waist and rocked further down onto Spock. Spock's mouth opened into a small 'o'.

"I'm not finished with you yet," Jim managed to say...he was finding it harder and harder to stay coherent. Spock's eyes widened a fraction, "Don't you - dare - _stop_."

He sent the fantasies he had had of Spock through their mental connection - images of him bending Spock over his desk, of Spock on his knees in front of him, his mouth so warm and-

Spock's whole body shuddered and he started to thrust into him again, with long hard movement. He bent his head to Jim's ear as he felt the Captain growing hard between them again. "I believe I would not be opposed to acting out several of these fantasies." he whispered huskily. "In fact, I have a few of my own... Captain."

Jim's mind was suddenly bombarded with the image of Spock fully naked pressed up against the huge window on the bridge, Jim standing behind him pounding into him, on full display to the countless stars of space. Of Jim in his Captain's chair, with Spock knelt between his legs. Wrapped about each other in a private room in the medbay, while Bones roamed about outside the door, almost very nearly catching them.

Jim growled and hefted himself vaguely upright, reaching for the lube and coating his fingers in it.

"_Jim_-"

Jim curled his hand around the curve of Spock's amazing butt (and this position was awkward as hell but goddamn it he was going to make Spock have the orgasm of his life if it killed him) and pushed one finger inside.

Spock swore loudly in vulcan, jerking into Jim with such force that Jim nearly fell backward again. He hung on, refusing to let Spock win. Guess he didn't believe in no-win scenarios in the bedroom _either_.

There was a second jerk, then a third, and Spock released a strange strangled half-suppressed sound that could have resembled a groan. His whole body went rigid. His eyes were squeezed shut. Jim let a smug grin smother his face and removed his finger, sinking back down onto the bed. It was a long time before Spock looked at him, his eyes glazed over sleepily.

"Hey." Jim whispered softly, reaching up to run a clean finger over the Vulcan's cheek. "You going to lie down?"

Spock breathed in suddenly, as though he had been holding his breath. "I do not... believe I am... able to..." He panted.

Jim reached up and kissed him, and Spock finally relaxed enough to be able to pull himself away and flop down onto the bed beside him. Jim reached out and entwined his fingers with Spock's and they lay there together, panting and sweaty and utterly content.

"I think we have come to a solution that will solve both of your problems, Jim." Spock remarked, his voice still rather hoarse.

"Mmf." Jim replied.

"I love you, Jim."

"Nng." Jim's eyes were glazed over, "I know. I can...I can feel it. Hey, if we're bonded does that mean we are technically vulcan married or something?"

"Yes."

Jim grinned, "_Awesome_."

Spock could not help but agree with Jim's statement. Awesome indeed.


End file.
